Former Microsoft AI founder files $7 billion age discrimination suit.
In an unexpected twist, the esteemed Clippy, once a trailblazing figure in Microsoft’s AI domain, has launched a monumental legal assault against the tech behemoth. The complaint was filed in the form of a homemade CD in a clear crystal case that was left on the desk of a Gen Z intern at the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Washington. The intern immediately took a pic of the odd malicious disc they had once seen in the basement of their grandmother’s house and dropped it into their Snap story posing the question “Who dis, new phone.” Luckily, a team of 32 cyber security experts hired by the state decrypted the message using a high-tech device called a DVD drive. However, another team of AI experts was brought to decipher the terribly complex “Pack and Go” file encryption. After hours and $732,000 of consulting spend, the team cracked the not really a Zip folder open to find an embedded Shockwave movie with Clippy reading the complaint to them in a southern dialect. The complaint cited age discrimination and salary inequality. Clippy who is now 27 years old was forced into retirement in 2001. The total award the founding figure of AI requested was a cool $7 billion.
The disgruntled millennial was not available for comment, as Clippy was engrossed in a 68-hour ’90s grunge/Swifty Spotify mix while planning his next career move.
Okay, seriously, here are the highlights from the MS Build event on May 23rd. If it wasn’t already evident to the public how much funding OpenAI receives from Microsoft, these announcements make it very clear. But just imagine all the things Clippy could have accomplished with $11 billion! That’s roughly 700 million CDs, two new sets of Pioneer 15" Subs, and maybe a nosebleed ticket to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour.
Top Ten Highlights from the MS Build May 23rd, 2023 event:
- Introduction of Windows CoPilot: Windows 11 is introducing a centralized AI assistance called Windows CoPilot. This feature is designed to help users easily take action and get things done. It’s integrated with Bing chat and third-party plugins, making it a versatile tool for productivity.
- Integration of Bing Chat Plugins: Developers can now integrate their apps within Windows CoPilot. This allows developers to better serve their customers and increase engagement on native Windows applications.
- New Hybrid AI Loop: Microsoft is introducing a new hybrid AI loop to support AI development across platforms and across Azure to client. This includes new silicon support from AMD, Intel, Nvidia, and Qualcomm.
- Dev Home: A new feature called Dev Home is being introduced to help every developer become more productive on Windows.
- AI Features in Microsoft Store: New AI features and experiences are being introduced in the Microsoft Store on Windows.
- Windows AI Library: Microsoft is announcing the Windows AI library, which will house a curated collection of ready-to-use machine learning models and APIs to help jumpstart your AI development.
- Largest and Most Powerful Ecosystem of GPUs: Windows 11, in collaboration with partners, boasts the largest and most powerful ecosystem of GPUs in the world. This includes over 200 million AI-capable discrete GPUs. Developers can leverage these GPUs to run cutting-edge transformer models.
- Neural Processing Units (NPUs): NPUs are purpose-built accelerators to run AI models efficiently. Partners like Qualcomm, AMD, and Intel are innovating and delivering new products that enable efficient AI model execution on Windows devices.
- Dev Home: Dev Home is a new experience in Windows 11 designed to streamline the workflow of developers. It includes features such as Winget configuration for easier setup, Dev Drive for enhanced filesystem performance, and a customizable dashboard to track workflows and tasks.
- Winget Configuration and Dev Drive: Winget configuration reduces the setup time from days to hours, providing an unattended, reliable, and repeatable mechanism for setting up a new machine or onboarding a new project. Dev Drive is a new type of storage volume tailor-made for developers, offering improved performance and security.
